Monday, February 25, 2008

Laban o Bawi (Fight it out or withdraw)?

Me and my buddies have been talking about this for some time now and I and curious if anyone else has some insights into this. Please feel free to post a comment if you have any insights. Let's say you go on a date with someone and they do something that you don't really agree with. It's a little thing, nothing big, but at the same time it's something that is important to you. What does that mean to you? Let me give an example: (note: this does not apply to me, I don't hate Coke drinkers in anyway, I drank it at every filipinos house my whole mission, just an example) Let's say you don't agree with drinking coke - it's just a personal thing, you don't want your kids to drink it, etc. You take someone out and you have a fun time, but in the course of the date you find out they are a huge coke drinker. Not only do they love it, but they think that you should love it and can't imagine why you would be so crazy as to not drink it as well. Well the date was fun - not the best you've ever had, but not the worst for sure. There are a few other people you want to take out as well and the time comes for you to decide if you want to take this person out again. Do you let that small thing that is important to you deter you from taking them out again? I mean you are supposed to date with 'your eyes wide open.' But, at the same time, people can change. What do you think? Is that being too picky? Aren't you supposed to be picky? But, don't you have a ton of weaknesses too? But, if you can choose who you date - wouldn't you just as soon find someone who doesn't do that? What do you think?

Now realize, I think this only applies to things that are not church doctrine / commandments. For example is someone if breaking the word of wisdom I think that's a totally different boat, but things like caffeine, TV on sunday, homework on sunday, Movies, language, clothing style, etc. are all things that could fall in this category.
Posted by Scotty B at 9:41 AM

6 comments:

Logg said...

I have no advice to give, but a question. Is this girl real? Cause I drink myself sick with coke and if I find someone who can drink me under the table, well I just might be in love.

February 25, 2008 at 1:28 PM
Net said...

No need to settle. Give me a call. We need to talk. There are girls out there as innocent and naive as I am (although I'm not a girl). I can remember at some point during my senior year in high school coming to the stark realization that there was no legal drinking age for coffee. I saw a kid bring one into class and I honestly thought to myself, "What the heck? That kid must have a fake id or something." Somewhere out there, a girl is just now coming to this realization. Find her and you will be happy.

In all seriousness, there is no need to settle. If something bugs you now, it doesn't just magically go away later. Just keep searching.

NB

February 25, 2008 at 7:38 PM
Glenn said...

Honestly, I wouldn't let it get to you. If it's not going to keep you or her from getting to the Celestial Kingdom (although some members will have you think drinking coke is next to murder) then let it slide. How does that quote go? If you're looking for the perfect girl, you won't find her, and she probably wouldn't want to be with you anyway. I'm sure there are some things about the guy that girls don't like, but they seem to overlook them. There are just some things you need to be willing to settle on, but that's a choice you have to make.
But What do I know, I'm still single.

February 29, 2008 at 9:04 AM
Jillian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
February 29, 2008 at 9:45 AM
Jillian said...

Two thoughts.

1) President Hinckley said to the Relief Society young single women 2003, "You are single. You are hoping to catch that perfect man. I have yet to see one who is perfect. Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. What really matters is that he will love you, that he will respect you, that he will honor you, that he will be absolutely true to you, that he will give you freedom of expression and let you fly in the development of your own talents. He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, if he knows how to work and earn a living, if he is honest and full of faith, the chances are that you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy." I think he outlines the important items to look for or to be yourself--the rest are just details you can worked out together in time. In the meantime just stay on target.

2) "Believe that faith has everything to do with your romance because it does." (Jeffrey R. Holland, "How Do I Love Thee?" New Era, Oct. 2003, 8 which was taken from a BYU address given on th 15 Feb 2000.) Some things will be different or even difficult to work through. So as Enjolras sings in Les Mis, "Have faith!..." it will work when it is supposed to.

February 29, 2008 at 9:46 AM
Genevieve said...

I am with Jillian and Glenn on this one Scott. If it's something that is important enough for you and she's willing to give that up for your sake... then by all means, you've got a winner. but otherwise, be smart and pick your battles. it's like my mom says, "I can deal with my son having long hair if that's the worst of it (meaning besides drugs or porn). That's one battle I can let him win."

did that make sense? I am thinking no.

March 3, 2008 at 5:25 PM

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