Where the Green Grass Grows . . .

What is it about the nature of humans that makes it so we always want what we don't have? Why is the grass always greener on the other side? Why is it that relationships can be so exciting when the chase is on, but as soon as the battle's over the excitement ebbs? Why is everyone else's major so exciting and awesome until we join? Who does your BBQ chicken pizza lose some of it's deliciousness when your buddy orders your second favorite - Canadian Bacon? Does having 31 flavors to choose from at DQ really help anyone out? Or does it just make life harder for everyone because now as you eat your bubblegumyum ice cream you have to sit and look at the other 30 flavors your missing out on?
I took a class last semester where a interesting reading assignment was given - it was called: "The tyranny of choice." The basic tenant of the article was this: choices don't actually make us happier - but contribute to our overall stress level and unhappiness. Think about it - if someone just walked up to you and gave you a brand new pen you would be way stoked that you had a new pen, but if they came up to you and told you they would give you your choice of one of three pens - so you choose, but you also sit and think about what your missing out on because you didn't choose the other pens. Dang, why didn't I get the clicky one, or the cool one that could write upside down . . . ?
I think that some of the most blessed people are those who can simply make a choice and then be happy with it - as opposed to those (myself included) who make a choice and then sit and think: "Hmm, maybe I should have done this, or chose that, etc." As William Wadsworth said: "Of all sad words, of tongue or pen; the saddest are these: it might have been."
Could that be why the grass is always greener on the other side? Not because it's actually greener, but because we see it through the tinted lenses of regret. (Wow, that last sentence would have definitely made my 12th grade English teacher proud) I think all too often we allow ourselves to be unhappy with what we have because we spend far too much time looking at what we are missing out on because we chose the way we did.

Skater Boy?

So, I had this conversation the other night with a good friend of mine. She was telling me about her life, her relationship struggles, etc. It was a good talk and I think I learned a lesson. You see, girls can be placed in any one of many categories: pretty girl, skater girl, punk rocker, california girl, ditzy girl, nice girl, sweetie, sporty girl, sassy girl, crazy girl, etc. But, no matter the category, I think there are a few things that all girls want. Now, I don't know - or claim to be the expert at all - but, this particular girl I was talking to would probably fit in the 'skater girl' category. She's very outgoing, active, into skateboarding, short hair, punk rock, music, etc. Comes across at first glance as your classic skater girl - I mean I look at her and I want to start singing Avril Lavigne (minus the obscenities - she's like the mormon version). So, being the dumb guy I am my first impression would be: "Oh, she probably wants a really tough, punky, skater, fo-hawk wearing skater guy. I mean, that would be the logical thing to my brain. But, the longer I talked to her the more I realized that that wasn't what she was looking for at all - she wants a "cute boyfriend." And by 'cute' I don't mean looks (although she probably wants that too), she wants a caring boyfriend. She wants a guy who is going to open her door for her, bring her flowers, text her at 3AM to say 'i love you,' come over early to scrape her windshield, help her stand up, etc. Herein lies the problem: dumb boys look at her and think: "She's a skater-girl; she must want a skater-boy (see above definition)." And, so the boys try and be what they think she is looking for and to everyone around it seems to be perfect - ahh, there's a nice skater-girl with her skater-boy and they must be wonderfully happy. But, they aren't because she really wants a 'sappy, cheesy, caring-boy' but doesn't know how to let 'Mr. I'm trying to be a skater boy good boyfriend for my skater-girl girlfriend' know that that's what she wants. Anyway, I don't have any sort of solution for this problem, just thought it was interesting. It does seem to me that no matter what type of girl she is, she probably still wants to be treated in such a way that her roommates can ask about the date and as she relates in impressive detail the events of the night they can all go: "Ahh, that is so cute!" - even if she is a sassy skater-girl.
I wonder what kind of boy girls see me as? What kind of girl am I looking for? Do I ever try to change to be the guy I think a girl is looking for? Are the girls I meet just trying to be the girl they think I would be interested in? Hmm. . .